[Daisy teases, trying to hide her delight when he moves to sit next to her on the bed by taking another sip of her coffee. Passing a glance at his metal arm again, Daisy looks up at him with an almost guilty expression if he caught her staring at his arm.
Thereâs still so many questions she has, and sheâs sure Fitz-Simmons have even more. Honestly sheâs surprised neither of them have come busting in. Maybe Jemma learned her lesson.]
So youâre not a lizard, got it.
[Leaning over the bed to put her mug on the floor for now, Daisy ignores the head rush she gets as she moves up again. Jemma has gotten on her before about drinking more water, but coffee is mostly water anyway.]
Now youâre just bragging.
[Clearly she doesnât mind with that affection smile on her face.]
Maybe I am, [ Bucky says, with a flash of a grin at her pointing out his bragging. Some more of that pain-in-the-ass humour he mostly tends to wield around people like Sam. But her next comment gives him pause, thinking it over. ]
And nope. I mean, it makes sense that maybe HYDRA wouldn't have gotten the serum mixture right, but it seems like they recreated it fine.
[ Not everybody knew the real circumstances of what had happened to him — his pardon had been vague, trying not to publicly announce the sergeant's HYDRA-conditioned vulnerabilities to the world — but Daisy was SHIELD, so he figured she was already privy to some of the declassified information. He'd worked closely with the organisation's precursor in the form of the SSR, and SHIELD held most of the details on him. ]
Guess I'll never say never, but— it's lasted this long. So it seems pretty permanent.
[Daisy's smile fades when he brings up HYDRA. She can only imagine how awful that must've been for him, hell, it still has to be for him at times. Last night was a prime example of that. Having had her own personal experiences with HYDRA, she wishes they'd just disappear for good, but she just doesn't see that happening.]
I'm sorry.
[For bringing up bad memories, for him having to go through all of that.
Quickly she changes subjects, not wanting to make this conversation depressing as hell.]
I gotta ask. What's with the flip phone? You know it's the 21st century, right?
[And Daisy is a tech nerd, so it pains her to see him with such dated technology.]
[ He leans over, fishes for his phone on the bedside table and then turns it end-over-end in the palm of his hand, bemused. ]
It does what I need it to. I can make calls and text. I can play Snake. The smartphones just seem kinda overwhelming. Like, why do phones have to be smarter than I am?
[ Something warms unexpectedly in his chest at that. Just that small reassurance of someone actually wanting to see him, to be around him. It's something so easy to take for granted until you've been without it. Trying to pick through his words and decide what to say in return (while, meanwhile, that mountain grinds in his ribcage), he settles on: ]
I could make an exception for you.
[ a beat, then: ] And, I mean. You've got a pretty nice face I wouldn't mind looking at, either.
[ Uggghhhhh, Buck, why you gotta be such a dork— ]
[ Phones were expensive these days. Smartphones were ludicrously expensive compared to what he was used to. That was the other thing holding him back, but he'd get there eventually. He takes another sip from his coffee, head tipping back against the wall of the plane, feeling that faint vibrating hum all around them. ]
So do you guys just... stay up in the sky? All the time? Where do you land?
[ The logistics of all these agents living on the Bus was starting to pique Bucky's curiosity. How in the hell did it work? ]
[It takes a minute for it to hit her, he was willing to spend money on a phone just so they can talk. Her stomach does another flip, but she tries to keep her expression neutral.]
We land when we need to, where we need to. Sometimes weâre grounded for a day, but usually itâs only when we need to refuel or get called in.
[ There's a small teasing lilt to his voice, but then Bucky turns serious again, his words careful as he doesn't meet her eye for a moment. ]
You sure that'd be okay? I can't imagine I'm... your employer's most favourite person.
[ He'd never exactly planned on crossing this particular bridge, and still doesn't plan on going into it in detail, but it felt necessary to at least address. Accepting SHIELD's charity feels strange, ill-fitting. (There's a few names tucked away in his notebook. Relatives of agents he'd killed.) His debt to this agency, to what the SSR became, is hazy and still undefined. ]
[ There's a flicker that crosses his face, a faint wince, although he lets her take his hand. Bucky's still slumped against the wall and he glances down at her hand; his thumb hooks around one of her fingers, just the slightest anchoring contact. Bare skin-to-skin touch, even something as small as fingers grazing, still feels new to him. ]
It still happened, though. Doesn't change that fact.
[ The Winter Soldier had torn through the SHIELD pilots like a wrecking ball, leaving devastation in his wake on that helicarrier. If Daisy had been there at the time—
God. He doesn't want to ask this. Still doesn't want to cross this bridge, especially on the heels of such a nice evening and morning, but if not now, he's not sure they'll ever trip into it again. And something something, facing the past. That's what he's supposed to be doing. Isn't it? ]
[Daisy breaks eye contact with Bucky when he brings up a question she feared he might ask. Not because she at all saw this as his fault, but because she hasnât thought about all of that in a while. It brings up a lot of bad memories for her. Wardâs betrayal, Fitzâs brain damage. All of it comes to the forefront of Daisyâs mind.]
Ironically? Just becoming an official field agent for SHIELD. Then SHIELD fell, soâ
[Daisy smiles sadly, eyes lifting to meet his, she shrugs.]
[ Bucky waves his metal hand, the one that isn't still interlinked with hers; gesturing to her quarters, the massive plane around them. ]
You came back to the organisation. You guys must have been rebuilding.
[ He doesn't actually know very much of what had happened with SHIELD in the years in-between; it's one of the blank spots on the map that he hadn't gotten to pay attention to, while he'd had so much else going on. Living on the run or being sequestered away in Wakanda, off-grid. ]
[Daisyâs smile brightens a little when he points that out.]
Never stopped really, even when we werenât official for a while.
[Maybe it was stupid. How much she just wanted that badge to mean something. She didnât have many goals growing up other than to find her parents. So to want to work towards something, it just meant a lot to her.
This couldnât be easy for him to hear or talk about, so she tries to give him an out.]
We donât have to keep talking about it, if you donât want to.
[ He hesitates, trying to figure out if he does want to keep going down this road. He'll have more questions down the line, probably. This is the organisation born from the SSR; the one that thawed Steve; employed Nat for a while; put together the Avengers. It feels like Bucky's been nipping at their heels for decades now, circling them, with all these unexpected, vague connections to his life. ]
I don't think I have any more questions right now, really, except—
[ His voice is faint, bemused and a little disbelieving: ] Is my name actually carved on a wall at headquarters?
[She does a decent job of hiding her concern when he makes it clear he's going to ask something else, but her eyes light up immediately when he asks her about the wall of valor.]
It is.
[Would the next part freak him out? Or would it brighten his day? She risks bringing it up anyway.]
You're in history books too. Non-SHIELD ones. Not that I paid much attention in school, but, I definitely recognized your name on that wall because of history class.
Oh, god. [ Bucky untangles his hand from hers in order to bury his face in his hands — but it doesn't sound like he's miserable or freaked out, more just the sheepish, bashful reaction of someone who still has absolutely no idea how to accept that particular fact. ] And I thought I'd just come to terms with having a plaque at the Smithsonian.
[ That was never going to not be weird. His old clothes were there, propped up on a standee alongside the other Howling Commandos' uniforms. ]
Somehow it was easier if I just thought, like, it was Steve's exhibit, and I was just a footnote there. [ His hands sink and he peers at her again, warily. ] What do the history books say? Is it just the usual stuff? Captain America's childhood friend, fought HYDRA, died heroically falling off a train?
[ There's something rueful in his voice; at least he's able to half-joke about it. (He can joke about it as long as he doesn't touch on the other half. The 'shouldn't all those history books be revised and my name be scratched off the Wall of Valor, because I'm actually still alive and I killed a bunch of you' part.) ]
[Eyes lighting up, Daisyâs smile only grows at his reaction. She doesnât think heâs actually mortified, which is why she doesnât hide how sheâs on the verge of laughing.]
Basically, yeah. I mostly just remember when they showed us footage in class and I thought:
âWow. That guy is cute, and so is that James guy.â
[ Somewhere partway between sheepishness, still, but also feeling a strange sort of charmed and flattered. For a second, Bucky doesn't think anymore about how the most famous footage is from immediately after the liberation of the POW camp; doesn't think about how haggard and tired he often looked in the reels. (It was war; everyone was tired.) ]
That old footage was garbage. Sepia and all jumpy, and scratched up from being transported overseas. Nowadays you have like... what d'you call it? High-def hotties.
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[Daisy teases, trying to hide her delight when he moves to sit next to her on the bed by taking another sip of her coffee. Passing a glance at his metal arm again, Daisy looks up at him with an almost guilty expression if he caught her staring at his arm.
Thereâs still so many questions she has, and sheâs sure Fitz-Simmons have even more. Honestly sheâs surprised neither of them have come busting in. Maybe Jemma learned her lesson.]
So youâre not a lizard, got it.
[Leaning over the bed to put her mug on the floor for now, Daisy ignores the head rush she gets as she moves up again. Jemma has gotten on her before about drinking more water, but coffee is mostly water anyway.]
Now youâre just bragging.
[Clearly she doesnât mind with that affection smile on her face.]
So it just never goes away? The serum.
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And nope. I mean, it makes sense that maybe HYDRA wouldn't have gotten the serum mixture right, but it seems like they recreated it fine.
[ Not everybody knew the real circumstances of what had happened to him — his pardon had been vague, trying not to publicly announce the sergeant's HYDRA-conditioned vulnerabilities to the world — but Daisy was SHIELD, so he figured she was already privy to some of the declassified information. He'd worked closely with the organisation's precursor in the form of the SSR, and SHIELD held most of the details on him. ]
Guess I'll never say never, but— it's lasted this long. So it seems pretty permanent.
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I'm sorry.
[For bringing up bad memories, for him having to go through all of that.
Quickly she changes subjects, not wanting to make this conversation depressing as hell.]
I gotta ask. What's with the flip phone? You know it's the 21st century, right?
[And Daisy is a tech nerd, so it pains her to see him with such dated technology.]
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[ He leans over, fishes for his phone on the bedside table and then turns it end-over-end in the palm of his hand, bemused. ]
It does what I need it to. I can make calls and text. I can play Snake. The smartphones just seem kinda overwhelming. Like, why do phones have to be smarter than I am?
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[Of course she smiles as she says it, because any chance to dig at his age is fun for her.]
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And what if that's exactly what I am?
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I donât know, are you? Or are you willing to get with the 21st century and get a phone where we can video chat?
[She wonât admit it but she would love to see his face when theyâre not together.]
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You wanna video chat?
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I wouldnât mind seeing you even when weâre physically apart.
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I could make an exception for you.
[ a beat, then: ] And, I mean. You've got a pretty nice face I wouldn't mind looking at, either.
[ Uggghhhhh, Buck, why you gotta be such a dork— ]
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Wouldnât want you making an exception just for me, but I wouldnât mind looking at your face either.
[Of course sheâs going to tease him, even if she means what she says.]
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[ Phones were expensive these days. Smartphones were ludicrously expensive compared to what he was used to. That was the other thing holding him back, but he'd get there eventually. He takes another sip from his coffee, head tipping back against the wall of the plane, feeling that faint vibrating hum all around them. ]
So do you guys just... stay up in the sky? All the time? Where do you land?
[ The logistics of all these agents living on the Bus was starting to pique Bucky's curiosity. How in the hell did it work? ]
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[It takes a minute for it to hit her, he was willing to spend money on a phone just so they can talk. Her stomach does another flip, but she tries to keep her expression neutral.]
We land when we need to, where we need to. Sometimes weâre grounded for a day, but usually itâs only when we need to refuel or get called in.
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[ There's a small teasing lilt to his voice, but then Bucky turns serious again, his words careful as he doesn't meet her eye for a moment. ]
You sure that'd be okay? I can't imagine I'm... your employer's most favourite person.
[ He'd never exactly planned on crossing this particular bridge, and still doesn't plan on going into it in detail, but it felt necessary to at least address. Accepting SHIELD's charity feels strange, ill-fitting. (There's a few names tucked away in his notebook. Relatives of agents he'd killed.) His debt to this agency, to what the SSR became, is hazy and still undefined. ]
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You're a hero, Bucky, and not just to SHIELD.
[Daisy reaches out to place her hand on top of his if he lets her.]
What happened to you wasn't your fault and everyone here knows it.
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It still happened, though. Doesn't change that fact.
[ The Winter Soldier had torn through the SHIELD pilots like a wrecking ball, leaving devastation in his wake on that helicarrier. If Daisy had been there at the time—
God. He doesn't want to ask this. Still doesn't want to cross this bridge, especially on the heels of such a nice evening and morning, but if not now, he's not sure they'll ever trip into it again. And something something, facing the past. That's what he's supposed to be doing. Isn't it? ]
Where were you? That day? Can I ask?
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Ironically? Just becoming an official field agent for SHIELD. Then SHIELD fell, soâ
[Daisy smiles sadly, eyes lifting to meet his, she shrugs.]
I was used to being disappointed by that point.
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[ Bucky waves his metal hand, the one that isn't still interlinked with hers; gesturing to her quarters, the massive plane around them. ]
You came back to the organisation. You guys must have been rebuilding.
[ He doesn't actually know very much of what had happened with SHIELD in the years in-between; it's one of the blank spots on the map that he hadn't gotten to pay attention to, while he'd had so much else going on. Living on the run or being sequestered away in Wakanda, off-grid. ]
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[Daisyâs smile brightens a little when he points that out.]
Never stopped really, even when we werenât official for a while.
[Maybe it was stupid. How much she just wanted that badge to mean something. She didnât have many goals growing up other than to find her parents. So to want to work towards something, it just meant a lot to her.
This couldnât be easy for him to hear or talk about, so she tries to give him an out.]
We donât have to keep talking about it, if you donât want to.
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[ He hesitates, trying to figure out if he does want to keep going down this road. He'll have more questions down the line, probably. This is the organisation born from the SSR; the one that thawed Steve; employed Nat for a while; put together the Avengers. It feels like Bucky's been nipping at their heels for decades now, circling them, with all these unexpected, vague connections to his life. ]
I don't think I have any more questions right now, really, except—
[ His voice is faint, bemused and a little disbelieving: ] Is my name actually carved on a wall at headquarters?
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It is.
[Would the next part freak him out? Or would it brighten his day? She risks bringing it up anyway.]
You're in history books too. Non-SHIELD ones. Not that I paid much attention in school, but, I definitely recognized your name on that wall because of history class.
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[ That was never going to not be weird. His old clothes were there, propped up on a standee alongside the other Howling Commandos' uniforms. ]
Somehow it was easier if I just thought, like, it was Steve's exhibit, and I was just a footnote there. [ His hands sink and he peers at her again, warily. ] What do the history books say? Is it just the usual stuff? Captain America's childhood friend, fought HYDRA, died heroically falling off a train?
[ There's something rueful in his voice; at least he's able to half-joke about it. (He can joke about it as long as he doesn't touch on the other half. The 'shouldn't all those history books be revised and my name be scratched off the Wall of Valor, because I'm actually still alive and I killed a bunch of you' part.) ]
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Basically, yeah. I mostly just remember when they showed us footage in class and I thought:
âWow. That guy is cute, and so is that James guy.â
[Daisy is a shit and she knows it.]
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[ Somewhere partway between sheepishness, still, but also feeling a strange sort of charmed and flattered. For a second, Bucky doesn't think anymore about how the most famous footage is from immediately after the liberation of the POW camp; doesn't think about how haggard and tired he often looked in the reels. (It was war; everyone was tired.) ]
That old footage was garbage. Sepia and all jumpy, and scratched up from being transported overseas. Nowadays you have like... what d'you call it? High-def hotties.
[ He is an embarrassment. ]
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[And she was definitely more focused on the hot guys than she was about doing the work she was supposed to be doing in class.]
You're right, it doesn't do you justice.
[Smoooooth.
Her flirtatious smile only lasts a few seconds before she busts out laughing.]
What?
You mean porn?
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poss a wrap? â¤ď¸