[ There's a flicker that crosses his face, a faint wince, although he lets her take his hand. Bucky's still slumped against the wall and he glances down at her hand; his thumb hooks around one of her fingers, just the slightest anchoring contact. Bare skin-to-skin touch, even something as small as fingers grazing, still feels new to him. ]
It still happened, though. Doesn't change that fact.
[ The Winter Soldier had torn through the SHIELD pilots like a wrecking ball, leaving devastation in his wake on that helicarrier. If Daisy had been there at the time—
God. He doesn't want to ask this. Still doesn't want to cross this bridge, especially on the heels of such a nice evening and morning, but if not now, he's not sure they'll ever trip into it again. And something something, facing the past. That's what he's supposed to be doing. Isn't it? ]
[Daisy breaks eye contact with Bucky when he brings up a question she feared he might ask. Not because she at all saw this as his fault, but because she hasn’t thought about all of that in a while. It brings up a lot of bad memories for her. Ward’s betrayal, Fitz’s brain damage. All of it comes to the forefront of Daisy’s mind.]
Ironically? Just becoming an official field agent for SHIELD. Then SHIELD fell, so—
[Daisy smiles sadly, eyes lifting to meet his, she shrugs.]
[ Bucky waves his metal hand, the one that isn't still interlinked with hers; gesturing to her quarters, the massive plane around them. ]
You came back to the organisation. You guys must have been rebuilding.
[ He doesn't actually know very much of what had happened with SHIELD in the years in-between; it's one of the blank spots on the map that he hadn't gotten to pay attention to, while he'd had so much else going on. Living on the run or being sequestered away in Wakanda, off-grid. ]
[Daisy’s smile brightens a little when he points that out.]
Never stopped really, even when we weren’t official for a while.
[Maybe it was stupid. How much she just wanted that badge to mean something. She didn’t have many goals growing up other than to find her parents. So to want to work towards something, it just meant a lot to her.
This couldn’t be easy for him to hear or talk about, so she tries to give him an out.]
We don’t have to keep talking about it, if you don’t want to.
[ He hesitates, trying to figure out if he does want to keep going down this road. He'll have more questions down the line, probably. This is the organisation born from the SSR; the one that thawed Steve; employed Nat for a while; put together the Avengers. It feels like Bucky's been nipping at their heels for decades now, circling them, with all these unexpected, vague connections to his life. ]
I don't think I have any more questions right now, really, except—
[ His voice is faint, bemused and a little disbelieving: ] Is my name actually carved on a wall at headquarters?
[She does a decent job of hiding her concern when he makes it clear he's going to ask something else, but her eyes light up immediately when he asks her about the wall of valor.]
It is.
[Would the next part freak him out? Or would it brighten his day? She risks bringing it up anyway.]
You're in history books too. Non-SHIELD ones. Not that I paid much attention in school, but, I definitely recognized your name on that wall because of history class.
Oh, god. [ Bucky untangles his hand from hers in order to bury his face in his hands — but it doesn't sound like he's miserable or freaked out, more just the sheepish, bashful reaction of someone who still has absolutely no idea how to accept that particular fact. ] And I thought I'd just come to terms with having a plaque at the Smithsonian.
[ That was never going to not be weird. His old clothes were there, propped up on a standee alongside the other Howling Commandos' uniforms. ]
Somehow it was easier if I just thought, like, it was Steve's exhibit, and I was just a footnote there. [ His hands sink and he peers at her again, warily. ] What do the history books say? Is it just the usual stuff? Captain America's childhood friend, fought HYDRA, died heroically falling off a train?
[ There's something rueful in his voice; at least he's able to half-joke about it. (He can joke about it as long as he doesn't touch on the other half. The 'shouldn't all those history books be revised and my name be scratched off the Wall of Valor, because I'm actually still alive and I killed a bunch of you' part.) ]
[Eyes lighting up, Daisy’s smile only grows at his reaction. She doesn’t think he’s actually mortified, which is why she doesn’t hide how she’s on the verge of laughing.]
Basically, yeah. I mostly just remember when they showed us footage in class and I thought:
‘Wow. That guy is cute, and so is that James guy.’
[ Somewhere partway between sheepishness, still, but also feeling a strange sort of charmed and flattered. For a second, Bucky doesn't think anymore about how the most famous footage is from immediately after the liberation of the POW camp; doesn't think about how haggard and tired he often looked in the reels. (It was war; everyone was tired.) ]
That old footage was garbage. Sepia and all jumpy, and scratched up from being transported overseas. Nowadays you have like... what d'you call it? High-def hotties.
[ He's somewhere partway between mortified and amused, and this just digs the hole deeper as he bites back another laugh. He'd shove her, if he didn't have superstrength. ]
I just mean pictures! Pictures are really high-quality these days! You can practically see people's pores!
[ Years and years before he was this stony-faced shell of himself, he'd been a goof, once upon a time. With her, around her, Bucky can feel himself slowly coming back to that version of himself. ]
Hey, Agent Johnson, I'll remind you that you specifically asked for video calls. That means you're gonna have to suffer through my overblown pores. So. As long as you're okay with it.
[ instead of pushing her, he does lightly knock his shoulder against hers, companionably. it's? nice?? just being able to joke around like this, and to be so increasingly comfortable with each other. ]
[ A kind of fleeting panic crosses his face — oh no, is she talking about the kiss, has he made a huge mistake — but then he puts two-and-two together a moment later. Jesus. He'd almost completely forgotten about the HYDRA agents, despite them being the whole reason they'd wound up on this helicarrier like this, patched-up and practically evacuated from the city streets. ]
Oh. Right. Yeah. Man, I actually almost forgot. [ It is, almost literally, just another day in the life for Bucky Barnes. But now his own smile is broadening, charmed and surprised by her unexpected shyness. He's not used to seeing Daisy bashful. ]
I mean, I think I might owe some thanks to that attempted kidnapping. Watching movies with you in person is— way better.
[ How do you say 'hey I enjoyed the makeouts, let's do that again sometime'? He has no idea, and so he doesn't even try yet. ]
[Eyes widening briefly when he seems to be drawing a blank, Daisy wonders if maybe she should have Jemma check on him again. Just in case.]
Should I be concerned?
[Daisy asks teasingly, smile widening when he, in so many words, brings up what happened last night. It feels good to have that confirmation that she wasn't the only one who enjoyed herself.]
Which means I am gonna force you to rewatch it someday, by the way. It's genuinely one of my favourites.
[ #priorities, Bucky!! But even he seems to acknowledge it a moment later, his grin turning self-conscious, knowing — the movie, for all that it's a fave, ranks somewhere pretty far low on the list of considerations from last night.
Which. Speaking of. ]
But yeah, we did get, uh, pretty distracted.
[ He still doesn't know how to say it, so maybe this will say it for him. He carefully sets his coffee aside on her endtable, and then scoots closer on the bed in order to lean in and catch Daisy's mouth in another kiss, trying not to knock over her own coffee cup in doing so. Stealing a moment, before the doctor walks in again or the plane lands or HYDRA attacks again or the day just marches relentlessly onwards and he loses his opportunity or his nerve. ]
[Daisy teases, her smile growing as her stomach flutters in excitement. They're making plans to see each other again, so clearly she's not the only one who feels something here.
He only furthers prove that when, suddenly, he's scooting closer to her. Heart hammering in her chest, Daisy's eyes fall to his lips just before he leans in. Cup of coffee resting against her lap, Daisy reaches up with her free hand to cup the side of his face, smiling against his lips before she kisses him back.
Coffee breath be damned.
Daisy pulls back for a minute, realizing she's still holding onto the cup and reaches over to place hers next to his own.]
Really don't want either of us to get burned.
[Daisy says, her face flushed as she laughs before leaning into kiss him again.]
[ She hadn't intended it, but those words hold a meaning on so many levels even beyond the coffee.
Really don't want either of us to get burned. They could both be hurt so easily by this — unaccustomed to romantic relationships, to vulnerability, to placing your heart in someone else's hands, to risking this with each other after their respective wounds. He hadn't dated seriously even back in the old days, before the war. He'd been more carefree and that had meant no commitments, just glancing fleeting entanglements.
Now, today, everything came with strings and with baggage. A kiss means more. Means unbricking those longstanding impenetrable walls.
But Bucky doesn't want to think about it. Can't even begin to define what this newfound possibility is between them. Don't want either of us to get burned. So he avoids the two cups of coffee they'd set on the table, and he kisses her, and Daisy leans back into him, and together they can start to fall into this— whatever it is. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It still happened, though. Doesn't change that fact.
[ The Winter Soldier had torn through the SHIELD pilots like a wrecking ball, leaving devastation in his wake on that helicarrier. If Daisy had been there at the time—
God. He doesn't want to ask this. Still doesn't want to cross this bridge, especially on the heels of such a nice evening and morning, but if not now, he's not sure they'll ever trip into it again. And something something, facing the past. That's what he's supposed to be doing. Isn't it? ]
Where were you? That day? Can I ask?
no subject
Ironically? Just becoming an official field agent for SHIELD. Then SHIELD fell, so—
[Daisy smiles sadly, eyes lifting to meet his, she shrugs.]
I was used to being disappointed by that point.
no subject
[ Bucky waves his metal hand, the one that isn't still interlinked with hers; gesturing to her quarters, the massive plane around them. ]
You came back to the organisation. You guys must have been rebuilding.
[ He doesn't actually know very much of what had happened with SHIELD in the years in-between; it's one of the blank spots on the map that he hadn't gotten to pay attention to, while he'd had so much else going on. Living on the run or being sequestered away in Wakanda, off-grid. ]
no subject
[Daisy’s smile brightens a little when he points that out.]
Never stopped really, even when we weren’t official for a while.
[Maybe it was stupid. How much she just wanted that badge to mean something. She didn’t have many goals growing up other than to find her parents. So to want to work towards something, it just meant a lot to her.
This couldn’t be easy for him to hear or talk about, so she tries to give him an out.]
We don’t have to keep talking about it, if you don’t want to.
no subject
[ He hesitates, trying to figure out if he does want to keep going down this road. He'll have more questions down the line, probably. This is the organisation born from the SSR; the one that thawed Steve; employed Nat for a while; put together the Avengers. It feels like Bucky's been nipping at their heels for decades now, circling them, with all these unexpected, vague connections to his life. ]
I don't think I have any more questions right now, really, except—
[ His voice is faint, bemused and a little disbelieving: ] Is my name actually carved on a wall at headquarters?
no subject
It is.
[Would the next part freak him out? Or would it brighten his day? She risks bringing it up anyway.]
You're in history books too. Non-SHIELD ones. Not that I paid much attention in school, but, I definitely recognized your name on that wall because of history class.
no subject
[ That was never going to not be weird. His old clothes were there, propped up on a standee alongside the other Howling Commandos' uniforms. ]
Somehow it was easier if I just thought, like, it was Steve's exhibit, and I was just a footnote there. [ His hands sink and he peers at her again, warily. ] What do the history books say? Is it just the usual stuff? Captain America's childhood friend, fought HYDRA, died heroically falling off a train?
[ There's something rueful in his voice; at least he's able to half-joke about it. (He can joke about it as long as he doesn't touch on the other half. The 'shouldn't all those history books be revised and my name be scratched off the Wall of Valor, because I'm actually still alive and I killed a bunch of you' part.) ]
no subject
Basically, yeah. I mostly just remember when they showed us footage in class and I thought:
‘Wow. That guy is cute, and so is that James guy.’
[Daisy is a shit and she knows it.]
no subject
[ Somewhere partway between sheepishness, still, but also feeling a strange sort of charmed and flattered. For a second, Bucky doesn't think anymore about how the most famous footage is from immediately after the liberation of the POW camp; doesn't think about how haggard and tired he often looked in the reels. (It was war; everyone was tired.) ]
That old footage was garbage. Sepia and all jumpy, and scratched up from being transported overseas. Nowadays you have like... what d'you call it? High-def hotties.
[ He is an embarrassment. ]
no subject
[And she was definitely more focused on the hot guys than she was about doing the work she was supposed to be doing in class.]
You're right, it doesn't do you justice.
[Smoooooth.
Her flirtatious smile only lasts a few seconds before she busts out laughing.]
What?
You mean porn?
no subject
[ He's somewhere partway between mortified and amused, and this just digs the hole deeper as he bites back another laugh. He'd shove her, if he didn't have superstrength. ]
I just mean pictures! Pictures are really high-quality these days! You can practically see people's pores!
[ Years and years before he was this stony-faced shell of himself, he'd been a goof, once upon a time. With her, around her, Bucky can feel himself slowly coming back to that version of himself. ]
no subject
[He’s not wrong though, cameras have come a very long way.]
You know this means I’ll be able to see your pores up close on our video calls though. You going to be okay with that?
[Honestly she deserves to be shoved for being such a little shit.]
no subject
Hey, Agent Johnson, I'll remind you that you specifically asked for video calls. That means you're gonna have to suffer through my overblown pores. So. As long as you're okay with it.
[ instead of pushing her, he does lightly knock his shoulder against hers, companionably. it's? nice?? just being able to joke around like this, and to be so increasingly comfortable with each other. ]
no subject
I’ll just move my phone further away so I can’t see them in detail.
[Smiling wide when he knocks his shoulder into hers, Daisy looks down at her coffee mug, suddenly feeling a little shy.]
As messed up as last night was, I’m glad we got to spend time together.
[Daisy peeks at him from the corner of her eye before lifting her gaze to make eye contact with him again.]
no subject
[ A kind of fleeting panic crosses his face — oh no, is she talking about the kiss, has he made a huge mistake — but then he puts two-and-two together a moment later. Jesus. He'd almost completely forgotten about the HYDRA agents, despite them being the whole reason they'd wound up on this helicarrier like this, patched-up and practically evacuated from the city streets. ]
Oh. Right. Yeah. Man, I actually almost forgot. [ It is, almost literally, just another day in the life for Bucky Barnes. But now his own smile is broadening, charmed
and surprised by her unexpected shyness. He's not used to seeing Daisy bashful. ]
I mean, I think I might owe some thanks to that attempted kidnapping. Watching movies with you in person is— way better.
[ How do you say 'hey I enjoyed the makeouts, let's do that again sometime'? He has no idea, and so he doesn't even try yet. ]
no subject
Should I be concerned?
[Daisy asks teasingly, smile widening when he, in so many words, brings up what happened last night. It feels good to have that confirmation that she wasn't the only one who enjoyed herself.]
We barely watched the movie.
[Of course she's going to be a little shit.]
no subject
[ #priorities, Bucky!! But even he seems to acknowledge it a moment later, his grin turning self-conscious, knowing — the movie, for all that it's a fave, ranks somewhere pretty far low on the list of considerations from last night.
Which. Speaking of. ]
But yeah, we did get, uh, pretty distracted.
[ He still doesn't know how to say it, so maybe this will say it for him. He carefully sets his coffee aside on her endtable, and then scoots closer on the bed in order to lean in and catch Daisy's mouth in another kiss, trying not to knock over her own coffee cup in doing so. Stealing a moment, before the doctor walks in again or the plane lands or HYDRA attacks again or the day just marches relentlessly onwards and he loses his opportunity or his nerve. ]
no subject
[Daisy teases, her smile growing as her stomach flutters in excitement. They're making plans to see each other again, so clearly she's not the only one who feels something here.
He only furthers prove that when, suddenly, he's scooting closer to her. Heart hammering in her chest, Daisy's eyes fall to his lips just before he leans in. Cup of coffee resting against her lap, Daisy reaches up with her free hand to cup the side of his face, smiling against his lips before she kisses him back.
Coffee breath be damned.
Daisy pulls back for a minute, realizing she's still holding onto the cup and reaches over to place hers next to his own.]
Really don't want either of us to get burned.
[Daisy says, her face flushed as she laughs before leaning into kiss him again.]
poss a wrap? ❤️
[ She hadn't intended it, but those words hold a meaning on so many levels even beyond the coffee.
Really don't want either of us to get burned. They could both be hurt so easily by this — unaccustomed to romantic relationships, to vulnerability, to placing your heart in someone else's hands, to risking this with each other after their respective wounds. He hadn't dated seriously even back in the old days, before the war. He'd been more carefree and that had meant no commitments, just glancing fleeting entanglements.
Now, today, everything came with strings and with baggage. A kiss means more. Means unbricking those longstanding impenetrable walls.
But Bucky doesn't want to think about it. Can't even begin to define what this newfound possibility is between them. Don't want either of us to get burned. So he avoids the two cups of coffee they'd set on the table, and he kisses her, and Daisy leans back into him, and together they can start to fall into this— whatever it is. ]